(Photo: “What can I say? Sometimes you just gotta let ‘em take control!” Dibi Fletcher putting all trust in the hands of Julian Schnabel.)
Hey Dibi. My brother has a $100,00 student loan and majored in European Folkore. My dad suggested he get a job working at Starbucks or In-N-Out (they have great benefits) but he doesn’t want to and says he wants to go protest at Wall Street. My mom wants to give him the money to fly out to New York. My dad and I are against it. What do you think of it all? - Paul Orozco
Dibi: I’m with your dad. I believe in hard work, and your brother better get used to it or I guess he’ll be like the 52% of the population living off all of us that go to work. What a shame.
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I threw a birthday party for myself a few weeks ago and I have to say I’m really bummed out with the turn out. Only about 9 people showed up when over 30 told me they were coming. I spent so much money on food, drinks, etc. Now I’m just really pissed off and annoyed with all those who didn’t show up but said they would. Am I just being a big baby about all of this? - Evan Mathers
Dibi: Bummer, but interesting lesson. Next year, meet at a restaurant where everyone that shows can chip in. It will seriously keep down the overhead.
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Hi Dibi, how are you? Anyway, maybe you can give me some advice. My friend Mike really likes this chick named Karen, who I’m really good friends with. He keeps asking me to hook it up with him. Karen told me she has no interest in him whatsoever. I told him that she wasn’t interested in being in a relationship or as he liked to put it “hook up”. He won’t take no for an answer and keeps pestering me about it. What can I say to get this kook to stop hassling me about her? - Dan “Tweet” Bachmann
Dibi: Give him her number, it sounds like she’ll set him straight.
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Dibi, my friend has a 5-year-old son who is obsessed with musicals and Princess Jasmin from that Alladin Disney cartoon. She thinks it’s funny and cute when he wants to dress like a girl and wear a long wig and have make-up on. After reading about things in the news lately, I asked her if Robby (her son) ever wanted to join the Girl Scouts, would she allow him to? She said she wasn’t sure. I don’t think she should encourage this behavior. Am I wrong? -
Dibi: Wow, beyond my pay scale, but I’d sure look for someone professional to talk to make sure I was equipped to deal with what might be some difficult decisions.
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Hey Dibi, this is a random question I guess. Maybe a dumb one too. I dunno. But I see a lot of surfers, pro surfers, wearing t-shirts while they’re out surfing instead of a rashguard. Why is that? I know it’s to protect themselves from the sun but wouldn’t a rashguard be better? I think shirts get so heavy and floppy in the water. - Erik Sundstrom
Dibi: CF used to wear a wife beater while in Fiji, but it was just to protect him so he could use a front foot pad that he never goes without.
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My father passed about 5 years ago and now my mother is in her twilight. Her mind isn’t what it used to be. I would like to be with her and take care of her and have the capability to do so. My siblings think we should just put her in a nursing home. We grew up with the same mother but I just feel like they’re being so callous about this. I am heart-broken. - Phyllis McCullough
Dibi: It’s a really difficult decision that all of us have to face with aging parents. I think the best thing for you and the siblings is to get together and discuss the financial situation because that, unfortunately, will be the basis for how most of the choices will have to be made. I think about how I want it for me and figured I better work my ass off so I can have some quality choices, and have the control to make them before someone has to make them for me.
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Dibi I’m stuck in the middle between two friends. My friend “Jenny” lent my other friend “Susan” $7.00 for lunch. Not that big of a deal, I guess. But Jenny constantly brings up with me how Susan has not paid her back that $7.00. I said, why don’t you bring it up to her? And she says she doesn’t want to look stingy about it but that it annoys her that Susan has made no attempts to buy her lunch or pay her back. Should I drop hints towards Susan about the money she owes Jenny or just stay out of it? - Tracy Liu
Dibi: Stay out of it, not your problem! Money makes many issues completely insane.
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There’s a guy at my work who wears too much fucking cologne. I swear, you can still smell it in the elevator. I asked him if he could ease up on it and you know what the motherfucker did?? He actually started splashing MORE of it not only on himself but in his cubicle, on the plants, etc. What the fuck dibi????? - Luke Gervase
Dibi: HAHA, that’s very funny. I’m at a loss, most of the guys I know don’t really wear cologne and if you already asked him to knock it off, the only thing I can suggest is figuring out how you can move as far away from him as possible.
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Hey Dibi! I have a friend who also works in the same office that I do. During our social gatherings on weekends, he is a different person than he is in the office. He’s really fun and out-going but at work, he’s actually rather cold and distant and I find that odd. Or is he just being a good professional by acting this way towards me in the work environment? - Douglas Walther
Dibi: My work environment is very casual, which I really enjoy, but there’s so much regulation in most businesses it’s sad - but probably better for keeping your job in the long run.
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Hi Dibi, I have a problem and maybe you can help me. I’m 17 years old, a senior in high school, and plan to attend UC San Diego next Fall. I’ve received early admission. My problem is my dad. He eats, sleeps and breathes surfing. All my dad knows is surfing. In fact, he wanted me to apply to UC San Diego or Pepperdine just so he could visit me and the surf. He is stressing me to join the surf team at UC San Diego and though I like surfing it’s not my life the way it is his. He is so extreme about it that he’s told me that if I don’t join the UCSD surf team, that he won’t be paying for my tuition. I don’t get it. Does he expect me to be a pro surfer? Why is he forcing his obsession with surfing on me? I feel like he values surfing more than helping me with my education. - Mike Mariano
Dibi: Why not join the surf team if it gets the tuition paid? There’s no free lunch, and it seems to me a few hours surfing in the morning is a pretty easy way to get some help for the things you find most important.
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Hey Dibi, I have a cousin who just got out of prison. He’s been in the system all of his adult life. My aunt bends over backwards to work hard and take care of things. I just want to beat his head in the way he treats her when he’s out. Like she’s his slave, cooking for him, giving him money to go mess things up again. I’ve even told her she needs to be more tougher with him but I think she’s actually intimidated of him. It’s not like she can kick him out, he won’t leave, and it’s not like she’ll ever call the law on his sorry ass. I feel helpless in watching all this go down. He’ll be the end of her! - Terry Govern
Dibi: Too bad for them both. They’re in the dance of dependency and it’s really sad, but both being adults, unless they get help they’ll spiral through it to one of it’s inevitable conclusions.
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Do you think it’s wrong that I pressure my friend to stop rollerblading? I just think it’s so lame and don’t like other people calling him a fag. He doesn’t seem to care. Why does it seem to bother me more than it does him? - Justin Roy
Dibi: If he’s enjoying himself, why do you care what anyone calls him??
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People say that real loyalty is when you stick by your friends no matter what. So would you think I were an asshole if I bailed on my friend who tried to stab someone? I can’t get involved with that kind of shit! It’s too gnarly! - Craig Jasper
Dibi: What do people say stupid is??
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Hey Dibi I just have a quick question and thought I could get your insight. I’m not sponsored by any company but due to an inheritance, I’ve received $104,000. Could this last me to try and give the WQS a shot? And if so, how long do you think I could travel and pay for my comp fees? Thanks!
Dibi: It’s one of the easiest things in the world to spend money that you didn’t make, a lot harder to spend what you worked hard to make. You could blow the 104K in no time at all or invest it and change your future forever. If you’re good enough to give the WQS a shot perhaps you might try to find a couple of sponsors and be willing to use a small amount of your own money so you have skin in the game and invest the rest to have something to fall back on.
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Hey dibi do you think things like Twitter and Facebook just encourage people to talk more shit and say things they wouldn’t normally say to a person’s face? I can’t believe some of the shit I read on those things! People don’t seem to care about privacy anymore! - Steve Reyes
Dibi: Yes, everyone seems to want to be emotionally naked in public. Some of it is pretty disturbing.
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Maybe I should ask you this, since you are the mom of CF! I am thinking of getting tattoos. But I hear people get addicted and can’t stop getting them. I don’t want to end up looking like an atlas map but knowing my personality I probably won’t stop after getting just one. So should I even bother? - Marc Voltaire
Dibi: I think they can certainly make life more difficult, and mine has been hard enough… I can’t imagine tattoos would have made it better. On the other hand, I think CF is perfectly happy with his. So I guess you’ve got two sides to the answer.
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Hey Dibi. I’ve been married for 3 years to “Bob”. Recently, he told me that into our first year of marriage, he cheated on me with a random girl he met a friend’s bachelor party. He’s begged me for forgiveness and has said it’s never happened again. I believe him…however, it hurts still and I also wonder why he felt the need to tell me this after all this time? Was it eating at him? Is he testing me for a reaction? - Janet Reschlaum
Dibi: Interesting that he felt the need to dump the information on you so he no longer had to carry it alone. It’s nice that you’re able to forgive him, I don’t think I’d be quite so generous.
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I work drive-thru at Taco Bell and I hate it when my friends roll up because they always expect me to give them free food. It stresses me out. I’ve told them to cool it but they think it’s hilarious to come and demand freebies. Why do people always expect free stuff for nuthin! - Gus Fernandez
Dibi: I really don’t know. There isn’t one day that goes by that someone or two doesn’t call and expect free pads - it’s not like they’re free to me, and I always wonder why they have an expectation that they should be free to them, but I guess that’s the whole premise behind OWS.
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I am adopted and have never had any interest in finding or knowing about my birth parents. 4 months ago, I was contacted by my birth mother. She seems like a nice enough woman and we’ve talked every few weeks or so but it’s not like we’re bosom buddies. She’s asked to see me and has even offered to fly me out to Florida, where she lives. A part of me wants to, a part me of doesn’t. I feel so conflicted and also have this odd feeling of “betrayal” to the loving parents who raised me. Any suggestions on how I should go about this? Thanks, Dibi. - Devon Hoskins
Dibi: I think it’s a question that all adopted children face, and it’s got to be an individual answer. My biological father was never around and I found out years later that I had other half siblings, I met one, but there didn’t seem to be some long lost connection so it faded away as we went on our own life’s path. My life is what I make it and I really spend little time looking in the rear view mirror about what it should or could have been. The responsibility to be happy is our own. I don’t know if that helped, but you’ll have to do what’s ultimately best for yourself and accept the responsibility of that choice.
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I’m so sick of hypocrites Dibi! This guy was preaching to me about how it’s so great to be a vegan and to hug trees and blah fucking blah. Then I pointed out to him that his sneakers were made from suede and his watch strap was made from leather. He had a big “OOPS!” moment there, didn’t he? HA HA HA!
Dibi: The hypocricy is rampant, from the millionaire Michael Moore supporting OWS to the global warming fanatic Al Gore and his private jets, Nancy Pelosi getting in on the VISA IPO while the House was writing the regulations, the list goes on. The saddest thing is that your friend is just a small-time hypocrite compared to the real winners of the BS game.
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Hello Dibi! What a hoot! I’d like to know what is your first memory of money? Having it or spending it? - Kate Fowler
Dibi: We really had nothing when I was young, but I remember being really happy. I think the best was when we used to collect bottles and save the change to buy Popsicle’s for all the kids at the beach on Balboa Island where I lived.
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My girlfriend chopped her hair off and dyed it jet black and got snakebite piercings. She looks way too Goth and EMO now and frankly I just don’t like this new “style” of hers. I know it sounds shallow and she has so many other great qualities about her but physically it’s just such a turn off for me. But I feel like part of a relationship is that mutual physical attraction and so don’t I have the right to feel this way? - Brady Cullings
Dibi: I think it’s time to start looking around. She is.
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Hi there Dibi. I’m usually pretty shy and quiet. That doesn’t mean I don’t have an opinion on things but I guess I just don’t speak up when I should. I don’t know. I hate confrontation and drama. On the other hand my sister is very brash and loud to the point of obnoxiousness and embarrassment. Is one better th an the other? Am I being a pushover if I don’t say what I feel or is it best to just avoid problems and hurt feelings by staying quiet? - Laurie Ketthler
Dibi: Everyone has their own way of coping and dealing, that’s what makes relationships a mine field. I find it much easier to deal with open aggressiveness; passive aggression really blows my mind but it’s all a part of the drama.
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I was watching that reality show, “19 Kids & Counting” and it’s about that crazy family, the Duggars. They have 19 kids, born and raised by the married couple of that show. Apparently, the dad made a killing with investments and rental properties so they seem self-sufficient and aren’t on any government assisted programs. But still, something seems wrong, to me anyhow, about having 19 kids even if you have the means to provide for all of them. What do you think Dibi? - Jim Curry
Dibi: I can’t imagine having 19 Christian’s!!
