Greyson Fletcher: The Next Pilot At Flight Academy

Nathan’s been back in town and he’s been surfing a lot with Bruce Irons, who’s also in town for the summer. They’ve been coming around Astrodeck and hanging out here in San Clemente. Bruce grabbed some Wave Warriors and Christian Fletcher t-shirts. Little fucker’s got some good taste.

We’ve all been skating, too. In fact, just went last night to the San Clemente Skate Park. Bruce is stoked on Greyson and wants to take skate lessons from him. Haha, he even filmed Greyson on his iPhone going balls-out at the skate park; Greyson fucking flies.

But what’s up with all these kids riding scooters? They’re sissying shit up with their scooters and rollerblades; wearing knee pads, elbow pads, helmets, wristguards, shinguards, mouth pieces, damn hockey masks, bras, girdles, jock straps…I mean, don’t get me wrong on this subject. Safety is definitely important, especially on a little grom. But seems like kids are just too babied nowadays.

Things were so different back when I was a kid. We just went skating, you know? Just got up and left. We didn’t have to fucking make it such a huge deal to pack stuff up and worry about shit. If we got hurt, we sucked it up. You cracked your skull? Tough. Duct tape the shit out of it, fag. Brain matter spilling out to the pavement? You’re fine. You gouged your knee?  It’s spouting blood out like a sprinkler system? Too bad, crybaby. Get back on that half-pipe and don’t get off it until you do a handplant. That’s an order!

These Soccer Moms come to the skate parks in their SUV tanks and just unleash their kids, who, for the most part, are just kinda lazying around and being in the way with their scooters. And it’s so funny when these moms get all pissed when actual skateboarders come to ride the SKATE park. They seem to vibe you with some kind of sense of entitlement. They don’t like it when their little Bartholomew has his scooter kicked away from the combi-bowl.

But what I really love are the moms who bust out their cell phones and call the cops. That’s a scene in itself; When you see all the skate kids without the proper “safety uniform” run to the hills to hide. They don’t want to get busted and be given a ticket. So it’s funny when they haul on ass outta there. It’s like when you turn the lights on in a seedy motel room and the cockroaches go scurrying off, seeking shelter in the dark. Hahaha. That’s exactly what it’s like at these skate parks when the pigs show up and wanna cite the groms $265 tickets for not wearing proper gear.

Haha, that’s pretty much what happened to Greyson last night. The kid just bailed. Bruce, Nathan, Greyson and I were skating when those donut-hogging assholes suddenly showed up after some scoot bitches had a blistering hemorrhoid over our mere presence and called them. What tattletales. The next thing I know is that Greyson’s gone. Peaced on out in 10 seconds flat. Couldn’t find him anywhere. Finally realized that he had jumped a barbed wire fence, tore his pants, and was hiding out in the bushes across the street.

I should buy Greyson some camo paint so he can smear that shit on his face and blend in with the plants more naturally next time.