Nathan’s been back in town and he’s been surfing a lot with Bruce Irons, who’s also in town for the summer. They’ve been coming around Astrodeck and hanging out here in San Clemente. Bruce grabbed some Wave Warriors and Christian Fletcher t-shirts. Little fucker’s got some good taste.

We’ve all been skating, too. In fact, just went last night to the San Clemente Skate Park. Bruce is stoked on Greyson and wants to take skate lessons from him. Haha, he even filmed Greyson on his iPhone going balls-out at the skate park; Greyson fucking flies.

But what’s up with all these kids riding scooters? They’re sissying shit up with their scooters and rollerblades; wearing knee pads, elbow pads, helmets, wristguards, shinguards, mouth pieces, damn hockey masks, bras, girdles, jock straps…I mean, don’t get me wrong on this subject. Safety is definitely important, especially on a little grom. But seems like kids are just too babied nowadays.

Things were so different back when I was a kid. We just went skating, you know? Just got up and left. We didn’t have to fucking make it such a huge deal to pack stuff up and worry about shit. If we got hurt, we sucked it up. You cracked your skull? Tough. Duct tape the shit out of it, fag. Brain matter spilling out to the pavement? You’re fine. You gouged your knee?  It’s spouting blood out like a sprinkler system? Too bad, crybaby. Get back on that half-pipe and don’t get off it until you do a handplant. That’s an order!

These Soccer Moms come to the skate parks in their SUV tanks and just unleash their kids, who, for the most part, are just kinda lazying around and being in the way with their scooters. And it’s so funny when these moms get all pissed when actual skateboarders come to ride the SKATE park. They seem to vibe you with some kind of sense of entitlement. They don’t like it when their little Bartholomew has his scooter kicked away from the combi-bowl.

But what I really love are the moms who bust out their cell phones and call the cops. That’s a scene in itself; When you see all the skate kids without the proper “safety uniform” run to the hills to hide. They don’t want to get busted and be given a ticket. So it’s funny when they haul on ass outta there. It’s like when you turn the lights on in a seedy motel room and the cockroaches go scurrying off, seeking shelter in the dark. Hahaha. That’s exactly what it’s like at these skate parks when the pigs show up and wanna cite the groms $265 tickets for not wearing proper gear.

Haha, that’s pretty much what happened to Greyson last night. The kid just bailed. Bruce, Nathan, Greyson and I were skating when those donut-hogging assholes suddenly showed up after some scoot bitches had a blistering hemorrhoid over our mere presence and called them. What tattletales. The next thing I know is that Greyson’s gone. Peaced on out in 10 seconds flat. Couldn’t find him anywhere. Finally realized that he had jumped a barbed wire fence, tore his pants, and was hiding out in the bushes across the street.

I should buy Greyson some camo paint so he can smear that shit on his face and blend in with the plants more naturally next time.

Here’s another installment of “Hey Dibi”…the series where you ask my mom anything…and I do mean, ANYTHING, and she’ll give you the God’s honest truth of what she thinks. Don’t be afraid to bring up anything and don’t be afraid to hear what she has to say.  Mom never holds back!

Oh, and check out this photo. Pretty cool, huh? Bruce Weber took it at my grandparent’s house. It’s one of my favorites of me and my mom.

Hey Dibi,

Do you enjoy being a mother? Or better yet, do you enjoy being Christian’s mother?

- Mark Moises

Dibi: It’s been an amazing adventure; extreme highs and lows and everything in-between. What a LIFE!!!

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Hey Dibi,

Dibi, hello! What is it like running your own company, Astrodeck, with your husband? Do you get tired of working with each other?

- Evelyn Kinski

Dibi: I’ve never worked for anyone else, so I can’t compare it with other jobs. But I think we work well together. Some of it’s quite interesting, some of it sucks, but I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to work in an environment where we can be creative and do some fun wacky things. Like, how many people get the chance to do something as bizarre as this? Like, who the hell cares what I think?!? Do I get tired of working with each other? That would be DUH!!! But after so many years of living and working together, I can’t imagine it any other way…and some of it’s pure comedy!!!

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Hey Dibi,

What virtue do you think is overrated and one you stand by fiercely?

- Patrick O’Malley

Dibi: All that hand-slapping “bro” bullshit…so phony…but get in trouble and most of those guys are gone like the wind. I’ve always tried to be a FRIEND and that means no matter what!!!

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Hey Dibi,

There is this gross, ugly, smelly Mexican that won’t stop coming by my house and calling me. I think he might have stolen my son’s iPhone. What to do? He thinks I’m into that.

- Lisa Humphreys

Dibi: Get a hand gun and a rottweiler. Like, really!!!

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Hey Dibi,

What really pisses you off?

- Senton Crowley

Dibi: There’s kind of a list, but, if I had to choose…maybe one thing related to business, I hate being treated like the little woman. That international customers want to only talk to Herbie, what a joke. You know, like most chicks, it’s the little stuff that blows my mind.

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Hey Dibi,

Congrats to you and Herbie! You guys are great! What’s the secret to your success?

- Henry Mous

Go to your corners! Most women want to talk about what’s brothering them but when I’m feeling great, all’s well. When I’m tried, just like everyone else, life’s a bitch. I go ride my bike, go to my own room, where ever to be alone and relax and rejuvenate and everything feels much better. It’s not Herb’s responsibility to make me feel good, it’s mine. I don’t know if it was personal info you wanted or business, but if I’m not clear you can always write and ask again.

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Hey Dibi,

Admit it, Dibi, you smoke the herb right? LOL, it’s cool, you can tell me.

- Hector Bartiza

Dibi: Oh, there are a few things in life that I like to leave to the imagination.

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Hey Dibi,

Did the Fletchers vote for Obama?

- Jeff Walden

Dibi; Hope and change…um!

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Hey Dibi,

What do you love about your sons? What do you love about Nathan and what do you love about Christian?

- Megan Rocha

Dibi: I learned a valuable lesson years ago from a very dear friend of mine about love. It’s not how you feel about them but about how they make you feel about yourself. That’s the gift. I adore them both and they’re so different but when they say “Hey Mom…” and they’re talkin’ to me, it’s GRAND…

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Hey Dibi,

Dibi were you a conventional mother or a hippie? I do not know much about you but for you to answer questions for CF’s site makes you pretty cool in my book. Love the answers you give too. Thanks for the laughs!

- David Paulsen

Dibi: Well, I guess I started out as a hippie. I ran away from home with Herb when I was sixteen. Life was great, the beach was perfect, the waves in front of the house were unreal. Then life started to kinda get in the way, you know, responsibility has a tendency to do that. WOW, kids. So it was time to grow up. Christian started goin’ off pretty early and someone had to be there to be counted on. Is that conventional? I don’t think much in my life would be looked at as conventional, and I don’t think I could have enjoyed Christian so much if I had delusions of being June Cleaver.

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Hey Dibi,

When is the angriest you’ve been with Christian?

- William Bweller

Dibi: Waiting in a hotel room in Tokyo for him to show up when we were scheduled to leave the country. Man, was I pissed! He strolled in with, like, one minute to spare and couldn’t understand why I was uptight. He had been out all night getting tattooed!

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Hey Dibi,

If Christian and Nathan were in a contest who are you cheering for?

- Dustin Hibbs

Dibi: Either. It’s not going to make a difference to me, and if it make a difference to them, that’s their stuff to work out.

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Hey Dibi,

Hey there. Where did the name Astrodeck come from? Any meaning behind it or just a name?

- Thomas Creager

Dibi: It was 1976, and everything was sleek and cool. We thought that “Astrodeck” was a great name for something that was the last part of a perfect-shaped surfboard - where your foot is planted for maximum torque in your turns. Christian used it to launch air, so it really ended up pretty okay.

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Hey Dibi,

The Fletcher’s make San Clemente. So what do you like about San clemente? It has been your home for years, yes?

- Rodrigo Parga

Dibi: I love running on the beach and riding my bike, and my family are all close-by, so it’s always home.